C.I.A. Unveils Old Bin Laden Tape
By Steve Martin
 

Soldier: Glory! We're off on Thursday! Let me give you the phone number where I'll be.

Osama: Great, give it to me.

Soldier: You don't have a pen.

Osama: I can remember it.

Solider: You don't want to write it down?

Osama: No, I can remember.

Soldier: O.K., you would dial zero zero six nine five three eight four twelve twelve six two fourteen ten four seven seven one eight nineteen eight six seven.

Osama: O.K., I got it.

Soldier: You're sure? You want to say it back to me?

Osama: No, not necessary; I got it. Regular bunch of numbers. Now go! Virgins!
 

* From The New Yorker, March 7, 2005, vol. 81, no. 3, p. 47, the "Shouts & Murmurs" section.